saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
