he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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