He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
