I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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