So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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