Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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