Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
