Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
