Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
