okay pat passed out under dana's car
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
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his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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