Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
