One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
