I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
