never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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