He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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