If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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