Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
