I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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