Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
