were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
