is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
