never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
