This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
