Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
