Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize