i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize