Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
