So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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