Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Randomize