I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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