just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize