That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize