So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
