Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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