the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
