How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
