You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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