last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
