My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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