Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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