After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
