can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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