and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
