So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize