morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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