I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
