You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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