Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
