did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
