I'm jealous of your bromance
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
