i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
