shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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