He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
