i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
