I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
