You're so nebulous sometimes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
