I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
