brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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