I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
